This article discusses suicide and may be difficult for some readers.
If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide, dial 911 if an emergency, or the 988 Lifeline for support.
As Men’s Health Month comes to a close, Fremont County Prevention is encouraging the community to remember that taking care of your health means more than scheduling an annual physical or eating a little better. It also means paying attention to something that isn’t always visible: mental health.
For many men, talking about depression, anxiety, stress, or emotional struggles can feel more difficult than talking about almost any physical illness. Yet mental and physical health are deeply connected, and ignoring one often affects the other.
“Physical and mental health are linked,” said Ralph Nieder-Westermann, Executive Director of Wyoming LifeLine. “Both impact your life. If you are depressed, your physical health is impacted.”
The Weight Many Men Carry
Life has always brought challenges, but today’s economic uncertainty, changing family dynamics, and career pressures can weigh heavily on many men.
“Many men feel that as the primary breadwinner in their home, it is their responsibility to provide,” Nieder-Westermann said. “When they cannot, they may feel like a failure.”
Former Johnson County Prevention Specialist Bill Hawley says many men build their identity around their ability to provide, accomplish, and solve problems.
“When that is a man’s expectation for life, and now, at 55 or 60 years of age, that is not reality, the thought of ‘I could…’ can begin to enter the mind,” Hawley explained.
He says those thoughts often develop after stressful life events such as job loss, retirement, divorce, financial hardship, or the loss of purpose and identity.
Knowing the Warning Signs
One of the biggest challenges is that men don’t always talk openly about what they’re experiencing.
Instead, family members and friends may notice changes in behavior.
According to Hawley, warning signs can include:
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Losing interest in hobbies or activities they once enjoyed
- Increased alcohol or substance use
- Major changes following stressful life events
- A noticeable change in personality or behavior
- Expressions of hopelessness or believing others would be better off without them
He points to two concepts identified by psychologist Dr. Thomas Joiner that often appear in people experiencing suicidal thoughts: perceived burdensomeness and thwarted belongingness.
“The perception that my family would be better off if I were dead, and that I don’t belong,” Hawley said. “Almost a state of self-loathing and loss of relationships and connection with life.”
Breaking the Stigma
Both Nieder-Westermann and Hawley believe stigma remains one of the greatest barriers preventing men from asking for help.
“We are taught to ‘man up’ or ‘cowboy up,'” Nieder-Westermann said. “But a true cowboy knows their limits and historically has always reached out for help or offered to help others.”
“Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is not the solution,” he added. “Reaching out is.”
Hawley agrees but believes the conversation should go even further.
“We must view brain health the same as we view heart health,” he said.
Just as heart disease is diagnosable, treatable, and manageable, he says mental health conditions deserve the same understanding.
“There is little or no shame talking about high blood pressure or recovering from a heart attack,” Hawley said. “Unfortunately, the same is not true for depression, bipolar disorder, or other brain health concerns.”
Wyoming’s Unique Challenges
Wyoming has consistently ranked among the states with the highest suicide rates in the nation.
Several factors contribute to that reality, including geographic isolation, limited behavioral health resources, and the stigma surrounding mental health.
With roughly six people per square mile, many Wyoming residents live far from mental health providers. Combined with the state’s strong culture of independence, asking for help can feel especially difficult.
“The ‘cowboy up’ mentality can create resiliency, independence, and rugged individualism as strengths,” Hawley said. “It also can add to the stigma which keeps many men from seeking help when life is hard.”
According to the Wyoming Department of Health, men account for approximately 70 percent of suicide deaths in Wyoming, highlighting the importance of encouraging men to seek support before a crisis develops.
Caring for the Caregivers
For many Wyoming men, particularly those in agriculture, mental health challenges are often intertwined with the realities of everyday life.
Darla Tyler-McSherry, founder of Ask In Earnest, has spent years raising awareness about suicide prevention and mental health across the Western United States, including Wyoming and Montana. She says farmers and ranchers face unique pressures that can quietly take a toll on their well-being.
“In my experience, men are facing numerous challenges,” Tyler-McSherry said. “I see men dealing with tight profit margins, increased costs for items such as fuel and fertilizer, a decrease in the amount of labor to help them farm and ranch, and more severe weather such as drought, floods, heat waves, and hail.”
Rather than beginning with conversations that may feel intimidating, Tyler-McSherry encourages meeting people where they are and focusing on everyday habits that support overall health.
“What are they doing for their sleep? How are they doing with hydration and nutrition? What tools are in their toolkit for managing stress?” she said. “Are they willing to talk with their healthcare provider about their mental health concerns or consider resources such as free online telehealth counseling?”
She believes improving mental health doesn’t have to begin with dramatic life changes.
“We need to help men cross that bridge mentally,” she said. “Just as they care for their crops and livestock, it’s crucial they care for their mental health. It doesn’t have to be huge, disruptive steps. Intentional strategies to improve sleep, nutrition, fitness, and stress management pay huge dividends, and the farmer, rancher, their family, and the entire operation all benefit.”
Tyler-McSherry also encourages agricultural producers to lean on the trusted professionals they already interact with.
“Farmers and ranchers can tap into local resources they may not realize,” she said. “Pharmacists, bankers, veterinarians, county extension agents, and county health department prevention specialists can all be part of a support system.”
You Don’t Have to Wait Until It’s an Emergency
One of the biggest misconceptions about the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is that it’s only for people who are actively suicidal.
That isn’t true.
“If you are in Wyoming and call, chat, or text 988, you will reach a trained crisis intervention specialist here in Wyoming who knows Wyoming and what living in Wyoming is like,” Nieder-Westermann said.
The specialists are there to listen without judgment and help connect callers with additional resources if needed.
“We are not counselors or clinicians,” he explained. “But we are a lifeline for those who need one.”
People can reach out because they’re anxious, overwhelmed, grieving, struggling with substance use, or simply feeling like life has become too much.
“It’s better to reach out before life becomes too much,” Nieder-Westermann said.
Nobody Should Walk Alone
If someone you care about doesn’t seem like themselves, Hawley encourages reaching out.
“‘I’ve noticed you’re not yourself lately,'” he suggests saying. “‘I’m here. You’re my friend. I care. I’ll listen. How can I help?'”
Sometimes simply knowing someone notices can make all the difference.
He also encourages everyone to build what he calls a “Circle of 3.”
“I encourage you today to establish your Circle of 3,” Hawley said. “Three go-to guys or gals. Three friends or family members who will always have your back, answer your call, sit with you over a cup of coffee, and listen.”
He encourages people to write those names and phone numbers down, even creating a group text so those connections are always close at hand.
“And who knows?” he said. “You just might be in someone else’s Circle of 3.”
Health Is Health
As Men’s Health Month comes to a close, both men hope the message continues long after June ends.
“Health is health,” Hawley said. “Every month is Health Month. Every day can be a healthy day.”
Whole health, he says, means paying attention to every part of ourselves.
“Mind, body, and spirit.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, emotional distress, substance use, or thoughts of suicide, help is available 24 hours a day by calling or texting 988. In Wyoming, you’ll reach trained crisis intervention specialists who understand the unique challenges of life in the Cowboy State and are ready to listen without judgment.
If you’re not in crisis but simply feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or alone, you don’t have to wait. Reaching out early is one of the strongest steps you can take.
Click here for more resources to help you if you are in crisis and/or if you need to have tough conversations with a loved one about mental health and suicide prevention.
This article was developed with insights from Ralph Nieder-Westermann, Executive Director of Wyoming LifeLine; Bill Hawley, retired Johnson County Prevention Specialist and longtime advocate for men’s mental health; and Darla Tyler-McSherry, founder of Ask In Earnest, whose work supports suicide prevention and mental health awareness across the Western United States.
