Fremont County is large, diverse, and filled with opinions, or “talk in the 10.” “Talk in the 10” is an opportunity for you, our readers, to articulate and share your thoughts about what is happening in the community with the community. Letters may have been edited for clarity and length, but generally have been published exactly as received. The views expressed in the following are solely those of the author. Send your letters to our editors by emailing opinion@county10.com
As a retired Clinical Psychologist who served communities throughout Fremont County for some 40 years, I intended to avoid getting involved in issues that did not negatively affect my family or me. However, I realized the conflict regarding the library is disruptive to the community I love. The hard feelings add to the communal reservoir of hatred, which is not good for any of us.
The campaign to attack our library system is reminiscent of religious fanaticism. We seem to have blamed libraries for: children cutting themselves (self-abuse); changing the sexual orientation of our children; being a primary source of smut and an advocate of pornography; a carrier of the detested DEI (diversity, equality, and inclusion); a breeding ground for the homeless and for pedophiles. We have created an almost biblical “scapegoat” which is the source of much evil. If we can kill and sacrifice this scapegoat (the library) -which is the source of many sins- then we will have struck a blow for righteousness by ridding the world of this great evil.
I am not a theologian, but I have seen this dynamic play out in many individual lives. The outcome is never beneficial. Instead, it pits neighbor against neighbor, disrupts friendships, and may even divide families. People with differing viewpoints become more extreme in their opinions and cling to their positions fiercely. Everyone ushers reasons to prove that he is “right” and that a person holding an opposite position is “wrong”. Why would we compromise our position since we are absolutely right? What we are doing may destroy relationships, but by God, we know we’re right!
Even worse, we tend to perceive those opposed to our position as the “enemy,” and may believe that ‘everything is fair in love and war’, so the ends justify the means. If we have to malign, belittle, or lie in order to win, we feel justified in doing so. We fortify ourselves with the belief that we are on the side of the angels, valiantly making our stand against demonic forces.
We are caught in a black/white, either/or win/lose game where everyone loses. Despite the destructive consequences, we keep playing the game. Are we nuts? We have to quit playing this game!
Here are my suggestions on how to accomplish this:
1. Look in the mirror! What are you doing that may be contributing to the communal reservoir of hostility?
2. Consciously choose to think of those holding an opposite opinion as “neighbors” rather than opponents or enemies. You are not dealing with an enemy, but with a neighbor who disagrees with you.
3. Determine that you will try to find “win/win” solutions. For example, are there ways to ensure that parents oversee their child’s selections while maintaining the integrity of the library system?
4. Realize that it may not be possible to reach a win/win solution that is acceptable to all parties, and that the solution must be win/lose. In that case, since we live in a democracy, let the community majority rule.
Signed,
Charles W. Rodgers